Big lobster at the Lobster House in Cape May, NJ.
This is my attempt at showing people the interesting things I see in my home state, New Jersey.
10 months ago
| Notes: 36
Dreadgoddess: happily ever after?
We, as girls, have been raised on happy endings and ever afters. But we are often faced with a reality of yelling, divorce, and abuse. So, why do we cling to the magical notion of one day we will find the RIGHT one and it will all be perfect?
I spent 11 years in an abusive relationship, clinging to the idea of a happily ever after. If I just did the right thing, became the right person, this man, that I thought I loved, would turn from a frog into a prince. He never did. And finally things got so bad I took my children and ran. I was bitter, I was jaded. I had believed in the fairytales and the magical endings, I had been asking the goddess for love and I had gotten years and years of pain. I become strong, a warrior. I used that period of time to rise again, like the pheonix. I would never let someone beat me down, I would never change who I was for someone else. Listening to Pink became my salvation. “I don’t wanna be a stupid girl” was my anthem.
And then I met someone. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and not my type. I was a non-shaving hippie and he was an urban clean shaven man. He was also years younger then me. But, he loved my kids. He was native american and believed in magic. And he believed in love, when I didn’t anymore. He told me he was going to marry me. I laughed and said I would have to be dead first. He said he was patient.
Eventually, his patience won out. We had an amazing handfasting with all my witch friends and I thought, “finally, I have found my prince”. But we would still fight. We would still disagree and yell. I was so stubborn, he was supposed to want to do things my way, I had promised never to change for anyone. And he wasn’t that passive either!
He tried telling me, when I would collapse into tears saying where was my happy ending, he tried telling me that this was it.
That love has no happy ending, love is work, love is hard, love is compramise, but he thought love is beautiful and more then worth the work!!
But if it is so hard, how do I know it is right?
“If you can’t see your life without me, then that is our happily ever after”
And I couldn’t, I couldn’t live without him, or feel complete without him. He is the most amazing dad I know, he works all the time to make sure we can pay our bills, he constantly loves me, and wants me and thinks I am sexy even when I don’t feel it. When he has to work nights and I have to sleep without him, well, we both go without sleep. He is understanding of my sickness and takes care of me when I need it. He is everything, He is my prince.
And sometimes, when I am feeling wistfully romantic, he will hold me, and remind me of love songs, and trace the contours of my face, and tell me how much he loves me. And then I remember, happily ever after is just three words, true love is a lifetime, and like all good lifetimes, it is filled with change, and work, and lessons.
Just because I have to learn to live outside of the fairytale doesn’t mean my fairytale isn’t happening to me right now. I have made my once upon a time, and I am living my happily ever after!
Emphasis mine. Love this. I 5000% agree. Blessings!
Very poignant.
Source: dreadgoddess
10 months ago
| Notes: 460
"Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever until the end of time.. but he loves you."
10 months ago
| Notes: 94
